Fake orgasm: Difference between revisions

In many contexts, the orgasm plays a central role in sexual activity. Generally, a person's motivation for faking an orgasm is to avoid causing feelings of sexual inadequacy in their partner.

The open discussion of sexual intercourse in general and orgasms in particular, has been and still is a social taboo in most societies. Therefore, not all people are aware of the possibility of faking an orgasm, while others can't separate the real from the fake. Many people would be hurt, knowing their partner has faked an orgasm, so many choose to ignore the subject.

• Some people can reach sexual satisfaction (orgasm) during sexual intercourse, without ejaculation, and view the extra effort in attempting it as tedious.
• Most women require direct clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm. Few sexual positions provide access to the clitoris, thus preventing actual orgasms.
• Some people are unable to have orgasms - a condition known as anorgasmia.
• One partner might be tired, and would like to end the sexual act without offending their sexual partner.
• Two partners may begin the sexual act under the influence of alcohol or other drugs. The effect of these substances can sometimes cause people to be unaware of their choice in sexual partners — if this effect wears off during sex, and one (or both) partners realize this, one might choose to fake an orgasm to avoid creating an embarrassing situation.

Reasons for faking a male orgasm

There are several reasons why a male might fake an orgasm:

• Faking an orgasm usually revolves around the concept of caring about what his partner thinks. Due to the appearance of semen in the male orgasm, it is most effective during phone sex rather than penetrative sex, oral stimulation or any other form of mutual masturbation for obvious reasons. Condoms that are colorised, however can help mask any presence or absence of semen, as mentioned below.
• Intercourse is painful for his partner, and the male fakes the orgasm to prevent the partner from enduring further pain.
• The male loses or is on the verge of losing his erection, due to either erectile disfunction or lack of arousal. Faking the orgasm allows the male to stop intercourse before his partner realizes he is losing his erection.
• The male may be unable to reach orgasm for reasons attributed to his partner. (for example: sexual technique)
• It may also be achieved for the humour in the circumstance. While sex is generally seen as a less emotional experience with males than females and often the gratification of a sexual nature is the main priority in his mind, the act is sometimes taken less seriously. Bragging about this can be seen to boost one's perception of his masculinity within conversational circles with other males.

Methods for faking a male orgasm

A male orgasm can be most easily faked while wearing a condom. An opaque latex condom is best for hiding the lack of semen. However, it is often difficult to distinguish a faked orgasm from a legitimate orgasm even while wearing a transparent latex condom. This is because:

• It can be difficult to distinguish between pre-ejaculation fluid ("pre-cum") and semen.
• Semen volume can vary greatly, depending on the individual and the previous number of orgasms he has had recently.

Reproducing behaviours one's partner expects during one's orgasm increases its apparent authentic nature. Changes in vocalisation, such as moaning, differ from person to person. Possible repeating behaviors during orgasms might be:

• Repeating a name of a lover.
• Repeating the name of a sexual position.
• Announcing one is about to reach orgasm.
• Long, deep grunts.
• Muscle tension in the leg.

Faking orgasm is acting; one is constructing a fiction about one's contemporaneous experience. The effect of this will depend on one's self awareness, the expectations of the partner and the underlying relationship context in which it occurs.

Methods for faking a female orgasm

A female orgasm can be most easily faked by a good actress. There are a few options: gripping something tightly; moaning loudly; breathing heavily; burying your face (in a pillow, etc); doing kegels; and anything else remotely dramatic or climactic.

Methods of distinguishing a fake orgasm

Not all people are exactly alike, so the effectiveness of these methods cannot be guaranteed.

• During orgasm in both males and females, there is a throbbing action in the genitals that pulses with a period of approximately 0.8 seconds. Although this takes place internally in the female (primarily at the cervix), it is sometimes possible to observe this externally at the fourchette.
• Some women exhibit a "sex flush", or a reddening of the skin through vasocongestion, during the later stages of arousal. The absence of "sex flush" could simply mean a woman who never experiences it, or a woman who is faking arousal. However there is no evidence to suggest women who experience "sex flushes" do so with every orgasm so the absence of a "sex flush" in a woman who is known to experience them should not be taken as evidence the woman is faking an orgasm.
• Orgasm is almost invariably accompanied by darkening and erection of the nipples in both men and women.
• The clitoris generally becomes extremely sensitive and in some cases, may become too sensitive to be touched.

References in popular culture

When Harry Met Sally...

The 1989 American film When Harry Met Sally... is well known for a scene in which the two title characters are having lunch at Katz's Deli. They are arguing about a man's ability to recognize when a woman is faking an orgasm. Sally claims men can't tell the difference, and to prove her point, she vocally and vividly (while fully clothed) demonstrates the skill as other diners watch:

Sally: How do you know that they really...

Harry: What are you saying, that they fake orgasm?

Sally: It's possible.

Harry: Get outta here!

Sally: Why? Most women at one time or another have faked it.

Harry: Well, they haven't faked it with me.

Sally: How do you know?

Harry: Because I know.

Sally: Oh, right, that's right, I forgot, you're a man.

Harry: What is that supposed to mean?

Sally: Nothing. It's just that all men are sure it never happened to them and that most women at one time or another have done it, so you do the math.

Harry: You don't think that I could tell the difference?

Sally: No.

Harry: Get outta here.

Sally: Ooo... Oh... Ooo...

Harry: Are you OK?

Sally: Oh... Oh god... Ooo Oh God... Oh... Oh... Oh... Oh God... Oh yeah, right there... Oh! :Oh... Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes... Oh... Oh... Yes Yes Yes.... Oh... Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes... Oh... :Oh... Oh... Oh God Oh... Oh... Huh...

Sally finishes, looks at Harry and smiles. Harry looks back uneasily.

Woman at another table: I'll have what she's having.

Seinfeld

In "The Mango", an episode of the American television program Seinfeld, Elaine tells Jerry that without him knowing, she had faked all her orgasms during their relationship:

Jerry: You faked it?

Elaine: I faked it.

Jerry: That whole thing, the whole production, it was all an act?

Elaine: Not bad, huh?

Jerry: What about the breathing, the panting, the moaning, the screaming?

Elaine: Fake, fake, fake, fake.

Jerry: I'm stunned, I'm shocked! How many times did you do this?

Elane: Uuuhm, all the time.

Jerry: All the time?! But I'm so good.

Elaine: Jerry, listen, it wasn't you. I just didn't have 'em back then.

Later, Kramer also refers to having faked it, in a comedic way (as generally, due to the ease of male orgasm, women are viewed as the ones who would need to fake it).

Kramer: You know... I faked it.

Jerry: What?

Kramer: Yeah.

Jerry: You faked it? Why would you do that?

Kramer: Well you know, if it's enough already and I just want to get some sleep.

Due to the exchange between Jerry and Elaine, George becomes paranoid that his own girlfriend may have faked it, and subtly accuses her of doing so. This angers her (whether or not it was true) and he is kicked out.

Sex and the City

In "They Shoot Single People, Don't They?", an episode of the American television program Sex and the City, Charlotte tells Miranda her reasons for faking an orgasm:

Charlotte: You broke up with Hitler?

Miranda: Orgasm — major thing in a relationship.

Charlotte: Yah, but not the only thing. Orgasms don't send you Valentine's Day cards and they don't hold your hand in a sad movie.

Carrie: Mine do.

Miranda: You're seriously advocating faking?

Charlotte: No, but if you really like the guy, what's one little moment of ooh-ooh versus spending the whole night in bed alone?

Miranda: These are my options?

Charlotte: And who's to say that one moment is any more important than when he gets up and pours you a cup of coffee in the morning?

Miranda: I'll take an orgasm over a cup of French-drip Colombian any day.

Friends

In "The One Where Rachel Goes Back to Work," Chandler realizes he doesn't want to have a baby with Monica while he's still at the beginning of a new job, but doesn't quite know how to tell her:

Monica: You faked it? You couldn't have faked it!

Chandler: Oh yes you can. You just make the faces and the noises.

Monica: Guys can fake it? Unbelievable. The one thing that's ours!

Will & Grace

In "Ben? Her?," Jack attempts to extort $50,000 from Karen after his sham marriage to Rosario falls apart:

Karen: Where do you get off asking me for 50 K? Do you know how many times I had to "Oh, oh, oh, oh, my God, Stan! Aah! Aah!" to get that?!

See also

• Female ejaculation