| 065 - We know our Onions | |
|---|---|
| Script | Jimmy Perry and David Croft |
| Director | David Croft |
| Producer | David Croft |
| Recorded | 15/06/73 |
| Original transmission | 21/11/73 8.00pm |
| Series | Six |
| Length | 30 minutes |
| Original Viewing Figures | ??? million |
| Preceded by | The Royal Train |
| Followed by | The Honourable Man |
We know our Onions is the fourth episode of the sixth series of the British comedy series Dad's Army that was originally transmitted on the 21 November 1973.
Synopsis
The platoon go for a weekend on an initiative test
Plot
Template:Spoiler The platoon are going off on an initiative test for a whole weekend, as other Home Guard units have already done. They are going in Jones's van, but Walker has been using it to fulfil an order of Black Market onions for Hodges, the greengrocer. These cause the platoon some discomfort on the journey, and Hodges is so incensed about the non-delivery of the onions that he follows them.
Once on the test, which is run by a fierce officer (splendidly played by Fulton Mackay), the platoon are informed that their target for the weekend should be to become a five star platoon, and stars will be awarded for their success through the weekend. Hodges and the Verger constantly pester the platoon during the day to try and get Hodge's onions from Jones's van.
The first exercise is to get one man over a tall electric fence in one hour just by using the equipnent provided, wood, oildrums etc. Jones inevitably volunteers to be the man over the fence, and gets so electrocuted that he is no further use. After an hour the platoon still have not done it, so they get more time. They try until midnight, with no success. The fierce officer is not impressed the next morning, but awards them half a star for persistence.
The next exercise is using the Smith Gun (an artillery piece unique to the Home Guard to repel an assault by some regular troops. To obtain ammunition for the gun, the platoon have to get over the same sort of fence that defeated them day before. Meanwhile Hodges and the Verger have finally got the key to Jones's van from Walker, and they rush off to transfer the onions to Hodges's van. Suddenly the platoon realise that the onions could be fired by the Smith Gun. They rush to Hodges's van, and Mainwaring demands onions "in the name of the King". They rush back to the Smith Gun, load and fire the onions at the advancing troops, who retreat in confusion. The platoon are jubilant. The fierce officer returns, and congratulates Mainwaring, saying he has never seen such initiative displayed by a Home Guard unit, and awards Mainwaring's platoon five starts outright.
Notes
Still to do - what was Fulton Mackay's character called? Cross references
Cast
| Cast | Characters |
| Arthur Lowe | Captain Mainwaring |
| John Le Mesurier | Sergeant Wilson |
| Clive Dunn | Lance Corporal Jones |
| John Laurie | Private Frazer |
| Arnold Ridley | Private Godfrey |
| Ian Lavender | Private Pike |
| James Beck | Private Walker |
| Janet Davies | Mrs Pike |
| Bill Pertwee | Chief Warden Hodges |
| Frank Williams | Vicar |
| Edward Sinclair | Verger |
| Fulton Mackay | Test Captain |