Asperger syndrome and interpersonal relationships

Partner–family relationships

Attempts to present an overview of partner and family issues have proven an ongoing source of contention, with Asperger syndrome (AS) advocates and partners/family members sometimes presenting wildly divergent pictures of the positives and negatives involved in AS relations with others . Because AS involves a variety of behaviours (some of which may not be present in the profile of all individuals) a selective AS-trait analysis, and an identification of the relative positive or negative impact these traits may have on relationships proves less contentious than wholistic generalizations. By isolating key AS traits which may contribute to relational issues one avoids the traditional error of negativising, or positivising, the overall AS personality. A second somewhat neglected consideration regards the potentially negative influence of non-Asperger's partners or family members who may contribute considerably to the relational problems experienced as a result of their own pathologies and behaviours. As in family systems therapy which recognizes that problems arise from a web of interactions within the family nexus rather than being blamed on a single member, it is prudent to look closely at the behavior of individuals with whom the AS individual is relating to gain an overall sense of the positive or aggravating factors involved.

Regarding AS traits and behaviours which inevitably play a role in relationship dynamics, these can be divided into the positive, neutral or accommodatable, and the potentially disruptive factors:

Potentially positive: [description and sources required]

Neutral or accommodatable: [description and sources required]

Potentially disruptive: Two potentially disruptive traits sometimes found in the profile of AS individuals are mind-blindness (the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and alexithymia (the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in oneself or others), which traits both impose a reduction in the ability to be empathetically attuned to others. When present these factors create challenges for the AS individual’s ability to discern the motivations, feelings and intentions of others (the so-called ‘hidden curriculum’) and may give rise to erroneous interpretations or false attributions regarding the motivations of the non-asperger individual. Also, this lack of empathetic attunement may contribute to a de-sophistication of emotional interaction in which many of the subtle emotional signals and nuances are not perceived, a situation which may lead the non-asperger partner or family member to feel misunderstood, neglected or deprived when relating emotionally.. A second issue related to alexithymia involves the inability to identify and therewith modulate strong emotions such as sadness or anger, which leaves the individual prone to “sudden affective outbursts such as crying or rage” According to Tony Attwood, the inability to express feelings using words may also predispose the individual to use physical acts to articulate the mood and release the emotional energy.

Social impact

AS may lead to problems in social interaction with peers. These problems can be severe or mild depending on the individual. Children with AS are often the target of bullying at school due to their idiosyncratic behavior, language, interests, and impaired ability to perceive and respond in socially expected ways to nonverbal cues, particularly in interpersonal conflict. Children with AS may be extremely literal and may have difficulty interpreting and responding to sarcasm or banter. Difficulties with social interaction may also be shown by a lack of play.

The above problems can even arise in the family; given an unfavorable family environment, the child may be subject to emotional abuse. A child or teen with AS is often puzzled by this mistreatment, unaware of what has been done incorrectly. Unlike other pervasive development disorders, most children with AS want to be social, but fail to socialize successfully, which can lead to later withdrawal and asocial behavior, especially in adolescence. At this stage of life especially, they risk being drawn into unsuitable and inappropriate friendships and social groups. People with AS often get along a lot better with those considerably older or younger than them, rather than those their own age.

Children with AS often display advanced abilities for their age in language, reading, mathematics, spatial skills, and/or music—sometimes into the "gifted" range—but this may be counterbalanced by considerable delays in other developmental areas. This combination of traits can lead to problems with teachers and other authority figures. A child with AS might be regarded by teachers as a "problem child" or a "poor performer." The child’s extremely low tolerance for what they perceive to be ordinary and mediocre tasks, such as typical homework assignments, can easily become frustrating; a teacher may well consider the child arrogant, spiteful, and insubordinate. Lack of support and understanding, in combination with the child's anxieties, can result in problematic behavior (such as severe tantrums, violent and angry outbursts, and withdrawal).

Although adults with AS may have similar problems, they are not as likely to be given treatment as a child would. They may find it difficult finding employment or entering undergraduate or graduate schools because of poor interview skills or a low score on standardized or personality tests. They also may be more vulnerable to poverty and homelessness than the general population, because of their difficulty finding (and keeping) employment, lack of proper education, premature social skills, and other factors. If they do become employed, they may be misunderstood, taken advantage of, paid less than those without AS, and be subject to bullying and discrimination. Communication deficits may mean people at work have difficulty understanding the person with AS, who in turn does not understand them. Resultant problems with authority figures continue as difficult, tense relations become prevalent.

People with AS report a feeling of being unwillingly detached from the world around them. They may have difficulty finding a life partner or getting married due to poor social skills. In a similar fashion to school bullying, the person with AS is vulnerable to problems in their neighbourhood, such as anti-social behaviour and harassment. Due to social isolation, they can be seen as the 'black sheep' in the community and thus may be at risk of wrongful suspicions and allegations from others. Individuals with AS will need support if they desire to make connections on a personal level. In order for them to see the purpose or relevance of a relationship beyond a point of interest or concept it may represent to them, it will require facilitation from a skilled professional. These connections are crucial throughout the life of an individual with AS. When these connections become incredibly complex, however, is in adulthood and unfortunately this is when the fewest services are provided for this population. Direct teaching around how to identify and establish social boundaries as well as recognizing a person and relationship that he or she can trust is necessary for social success. The complexity and inconsistency of the social world can pose an extreme challenge for individuals with AS. And if all else fails, at least in the UK Aspergers is now confirmed as being covered by the Disability Discrimination Act. This means that those with AS who get treated badly because of it may have some redress. The first case was that of Hewitt (sometimes referred to as Hewett) v Motorola 2004. and the second was Isles v Ealing Council

On the other hand, many adults with AS do get married, get graduate degrees, become wealthy, and hold jobs. The intense focus and tendency to work things out logically often grants those people with AS a high level of ability in their field of interest. When these special interests coincide with a materially or socially useful task, the person with AS often can lead a profitable career and a fulfilled life. The child obsessed with naval architecture may grow up to be an accomplished shipwright. People with AS have also served and in many cases done well in the military. Although AS is generally a disqualifier for military service, the individual can be qualified if he or she has not required special accomodations or treatment for the past year[1]. More research is needed on adults with AS.

Therapy and self-help techniques

Family systems therapy may help to identify problem areas in family relationships and provide helpful communication strategies to alleviate difficulties. Socialization groups may help the Asperger individual avoid isolation or marginalization by maintaining contact with others. Techniques for healthy interaction with others may also be useful for those individuals who experience difficulties in communication. [Needs expanding and references]