Mr. Garrison
Herbert Garrison, voiced by Trey Parker, is a fictional character in the South Park cartoon series. For the first eight seasons of the series, the character was known as Mr. Garrison but in season 9 underwent sex reassignment surgery. The character was thereafter known as Mrs. Garrison.
Garrison is a native of Arkansas and speaks with a Southern accent.
For the first three seasons, Mr. Garrison was the third-grade elementary school teacher at South Park Elementary. In the fourth season he left the Elementary School to publish an explicit romance novel titled In the Valley of Penises. But went into hiding after the book was called "The gayest piece of literature next to Huckleberry Finn". After he admitted his homosexuality, he tried to acquire his job as 3rd grade teacher but was turned down because the school did not hire gays. He was later rehired as the kindergarten teacher, where he enjoyed teaching sex education. By the end of the sixth season he was promoted to the fourth grade after the death of Ms. Choksondik. In contrast to naïve majority of adults in South Park, Mr./Mrs. Garrison is one of the show's more cynical characters.
Personality and Sexual Identity
Although acknowledged only sparingly in the series, Mr. Garrison suffers from a wide variety of social problems, the most noticeable of which appears to be multiple personality disorder. Mr. Garrison constantly held a puppet known as Mr. Hat which he used as a sort of second, more aggressive personality, as well as for emoting his internal conflicts. Though Garrison staunchly denied he was gay, he acknowledged that Mr. Hat was. For a period in the second season, in a fictional crossover psychotherapy session with Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist (another Comedy Central series), Garrison became aware of his homosexual side, and "broke up" with Mr. Hat and began using a different, more subdued puppet named Mr. Twig. On Mr. Twig's "advice" Garrison later made up with Mr. Hat.
Upon moving up to fourth grade, he abandoned the puppet in favor of a human assistant, Mr. Slave. Mr. Slave's name is what it is for a reason; he is quite literally Mr. Garrison's slave, in the sexual bondage sense. He wears black leather clothing and restraints, sometimes including a ball gag. His catch phrase is "Oh, Jesus Christ", with a heavy, stereotypical gay lisp. Garrison adopted Mr. Slave in an attempt to be so offensive he would be fired so he could sue the school for discrimination, but to his disappointment no one seemed to have a problem with it, and he was instead praised for being "courageous."
His changing sexual identities are a continuing source of problems for Mr. Garrison. One time, he saw Cartman's pot-bellied pig Fluffy give birth to what was supposed to be a pot-bellied elephant, but looked very much like Mr. Garrison, revealing that he may have once been a zoophile. Though he often acts in a very clichéd homosexual manner, for a long time Garrison could be seen chasing women and displaying a very homophobic attitude towards gays. However, he would eventually have a change of heart, and "came out" as a homosexual in season 4. Still, as a sign of his continuing emotional and psychological problems, he continues to use homophobic language. He also was in despair at the fact that his father had NOT sexually molested him as a boy, believing that he didn't love his son. Garrison Sr. considered having sex with his son in order to save his life, but he instead had recording artist Kenny G., whom Mr. Garrison thought was his father, sexually assault him. Both father and son reconciled their differences.
Mrs. Garrison
In the 9th season premiere episode, Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina (original airdate: March 9, 2005), Mr. Garrison revealed that he had not, in fact, been gay, but was actually a "woman trapped in a man's body". Following a vaginoplasty Herbert became Mrs. Garrison.
The operation turns out to have consequences that Garrison had not adequately considered. His gay male lover, Mr. Slave, who had not been consulted before the operation, declines Garrison's sexual overtures afterwards, saying "But I'm gay! I don't like vaginas!" Garrison unrealistically responds that they can still continue as lovers, "All you have to do is stop being gay!" When Mr. Slave leaves, Garrison exclaims, "You're just gonna walk out?! You men are all alike! Go ahead and find somebody who doesn't have a vagina, you fag!" Garrison also notes that there have been no menstrual periods after the vaginoplasty, and, believing this is the result of pregnancy, is delighted by the prospect of having an abortion.
After being told that a vaginoplasty does not result in the ability to have periods, pregnancies, or abortions, ("You mean, I'll never know what it feels like to have a baby growing inside me and then scramble its brains and vacuum it out?.... I'm not really a woman.… I'm just a guy with a mutilated penis! Oh boy, do I feel like a jackass…"), Garrison wanted to change back. Unfortunately, Herbert's scrotum and testicles — lost through surgery — had been used to turn Kyle's dad into a dolphin and to turn Kyle into a tall black man so that Kyle could play basketball. Kyle destroyed the testicles while doing a slam dunk, so Mrs. Garrison was thus unable to reverse his reconstructive surgery.
Mrs. Garrison had no choice other than to remain a woman … "Even though I'm not truly a woman, I think I still like the new me. I'd rather be a woman who can't have periods than a fag. Hey guys! This girl is staying a woman! Who wants to pound my vag? Girl power!". She appeared less than he had for many of the episodes following Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina, but was given an important role again in Follow That Egg! in an attempt to prevent legislation granting gays the right to marry.
Episode Trivia
In one episode, Mr. Garrison attempts to shoot Kathie Lee Gifford from the South Park book depository but misses and kills Kenny instead. In another episode, an inaccurate flashback to this scene shows Garrison killing Kathie Lee and revealing that she is a space alien. Although, in the end it turns out that this was an inaccurate description by one of the boys, and was intended to be wrong in the series. One of his memorable quotes is "Wow! Just look at all these tampons!"
In the David Zucker comedy spoof BASEketball, Trey Parker speaks the line "I forgot how much Doug Reemer cares about kids!" in Mr. Garrison's voice.
Quotes
- Mr. Garrison: (as Mr. Hat) You go to hell! You go to hell, and you die!
- Chef: Children, there's a BIG difference between gay people and Mr. Garrison! Do you understand that?
- Mr. Garrison: That dolphin has my scrotum! Now let us in!
- Mr. Garrison: (speaking about menstruation) I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.
- Mr. Garrison: Lets round up a couple gays and have ourselfs a good old fashioned fag drag!
- Mr. Garrison: Well, well, well. Guess we learned something new about you Jimbo, huh, ya frickin' fag? You wanna go and make out or something?
- Mr. Garrison: What was that Mr. Hat!?
- Mr. Garrison (singing): Hey. There. Shitty shitty, fag fag, shitty shitty, fag fag, How do you do?