Radio Yerevan joke
Radio Yerevan, or Armenian Radio jokes were very popular in the Soviet Union and in other Communist countries of the ex-Eastern bloc since the second half of the 20th century.
These jokes of Q&A type are allegedly from the Question & Answer series of the Armenian Radio. A typical format of a joke was:
- The Armenian Radio was asked: "<...>"
- The Armenian Radio answers: "<...>".
Outside the Soviet Union, mostly political jokes of the kind were known. Within the Soviet Union, the range of jokes covered all standard matters subject to humorous interpretation: mother-in-law, sex, national stereotypes, etc.
Radio Yerevan political jokes
A large series of jokes of this kind goes along the following line. A listener asks a question, e.g., about the difference between communism and capitalism. The answer is usually in the lines of "in principle, yes", but the details of the response contradict the affirmative answer.
- Q: Is there a difference between capitalism and communism?
- A: In principle, yes. In capitalism, man exploits man. In communism, it's the reverse.
- Q: Is it true that there is freedom of speech in the Soviet Union the same as there is the USA?
- A: In principle, yes. In the USA, you can stand in front of the Washington Monument in Washington, DC, and yell, "Down with Reagan!", and you will not be punished. In the Soviet Union, you can stand in Red Square in Moscow and yell, "Down with Reagan!", and you will not be punished.
- Q: Is it true that the poet Vladimir Mayakovsky committed suicide?
- A: Yes, it is true, and even the record of his very last words is preserved: "Don't shoot, comrades."
- Q: Why is there no flour in the market?
- A: Because they began adding it to the bread.
- Q: Is it true that in the Soviet Union people do not need stereophonic equipment?
- A: In principle, yes. One hears exactly the same thing from all sides.
- Q: Is it true that conditions in our labor camps are excellent?
- A: In principle, yes. Five years ago one of our listeners was not convinced of this, so he was sent to investigate. He seems to have liked it so much that he hasn't returned yet.
- Q: Under communism will we still have money?
- A: No, none of that either.
- Q: Could an atomic bomb destroy our beloved town, Yerevan, with its splendid buildings and beautiful gardens ?
- A: In principle, yes. But Moscow is by far a more beautiful city.
- Q: What is chaos?
- A: We do not comment on national economics.
- Q: What is cosmopolitan?
- A: Cosmonaut's deputy in political affairs.
Non-Soviet topics
Other
Once established, this "headline" became a standard format of many Q&A jokes, and it is often difficult to recognize what was the original format of the joke.
- Q: Is it true that Ivan Ivanovich Ivanov from Moscow won a car in a lottery?
- A: In principle yes, but:
- it wasn't Ivan Ivanovich Ivanov but Aleksander Aleksandrovich Aleksandrov;
- he is not from Moscow but from Odessa;
- it was not a car but a bicycle;
- he didn't win it, but it was stolen from him.
- Q: Can a woman remain virgin after three marriages?
- A: Yes, if the first husband was French, the second one is Armenian, and the third one is Soviet academician.
- Q: What a woman can do from nothing?
- A: A stylish haircut, a salad, and a tragedy.
- Q: Can a man have a hundred women a night?
- A: Yes he can, if it is a polar night.
- Q: What is "Russian business"?
- A: To steal a crate of vodka, to sell it, and then drink the money away.
- Q: Who were the first people?
- A: It is well known that a man decsended from an ape. Therefore we have to admit that the first people were: Aron Gutan, a Jew, Chimpanidze, a Georgian, and Gavrilla, a Russian.
- Q: Why do women work much on their appearance, but so little on their intellect?
- A: Because there are much less blind men than silly ones.
- Q: Is it true that Tchaikovsky was homosexual?
- A: Yes, but we love him not only for this.
Etc. etc.