Molvanîa
Molvanîa is a fictional country set in Eastern Europe. It was created by Tom Gleisner, Santo Cilauro, and Rob Sitch (of The D-Generation and The Panel fame) to parody travel guidebooks. The book Molvanîa: a Land Untouched by Modern Dentistry describes the country as "the birthplace of the whooping cough" and "owner of Europe's oldest nuclear reactor."
The book became a surprise success in Australia, sparking a bidding war for the international publication rights. However, the book became a center of controversy when the UK's former Minister for Europe Keith Vaz accused it of exploiting prejudices about Eastern Europe.
There has also been some confusion about whether the country actually exists. This could be partly due to the fact that the name is close to the real eastern Europen country of, The Republic of Moldova. It has been claimed that some tourists who read the tour guide book believed that the country existed and made plans to go there, but this story is probably apocryphal.
The authors are travel enthusiasts who have stated that they wished to present in a condensed and humorous form all their bad experiences in Europe, without insulting a particular country or all countries.
About Molvanîa
The Republic of Molvanîa is a composite of many stereotypes and cliches about Eastern Europe.
Historically, the nation was a desolate wasteland, torn by civil war and ethnic unrest. Eventually Molvanîa's various warring factions were united as a single kingdom, ruled by a series of cruel despotic kings. In the late 19th Century the monarchy was overthrown, but the royal family remained popular in exile. During World War 2 the country was invaded by Nazi Germany, and then afterwards was occupied by the Soviet Union who set up a Communist puppet government. After the fall of European Communism in the 1990's the country became a run of the mill dictatorship run by a corrupt government with heavy ties to the Mafia.
Molvanîa is a very poor and rural country, heavily polluted and geographically barren. The infrastructure is terrible, with necessities such as electricity, clean water, and indoor plumbing being rare finds, largely due to bureaucratic incompetence. Though the tour guide tries to explain otherwise, there is little to do in the country, as all hotels are tiny, filthy, and dilapidated, the ethnic cuisine is disgusting, and the "tourist attractions" are all boring and overpriced. The Molvanîan people in turn are generally rude, dirty, and at times a bit psychotic, with numerous bizarre and illogical beliefs and traditions.
The Molvanîan language is so complicated it is said to take an average of 15 years to learn, as not only is the tone in which one speaks important to the meaning, but also the key in which one speaks.
The Molvanîan national flag, the "Molvanîan Trikolor", is unique in that it has only two colours. After the fall of the Iron Curtain, Molvanîa was the only ex-Soviet state to retain the hammer and sickle. So enamoured were they with the symbols of workers’ unity, they added a third tool -- the trowel.
The country's patron saint is Fyodor.
Attractions
- Lutenblag Stadium (the Lutenstaad) was built in 1985 in anticipation of Molvanîa being successful with its plans to host the 1994 World Cup. Sadly their bid failed and much of the ground has since fallen into disrepair. Designed to hold 80,000 spectators it is now used largely for rock concerts and public hangings.
Regions
The capital city of Molvanîa is Lutenblag, located in the Great Central Valley province. The other three provinces are Eastern Steppes, the Western Plateau, and the Molvanîan Alps.
Other countries
There are other countries mentioned in the book, in the "other guide books" section. The only one that has a book published is Phaic Tăn in Southeast Asia.
- San Sombrero – Central America
- The Syphollos Straits – Mediterranean
- The Tofu Islands – Island near Indonesia
- Moustaschistan – Central Asia
- Takki-Tikki – Pacific Ocean
- Bongoswana – Africa
- Costa del Pom – Iberian Peninsula
- Pfaffländ – Scandinavia
- Gastronesia – Malay Archipelago
- Sherpastan – South Asia
There are also two other non-geographic books listed: Arduous Walks and Travelling for Seniors. Travelling for Seniors claims to contain 50 tips about making complaints!