Islamic marital jurisprudence

In Islamic law (sharia), marriage (nikāḥ نکاح) is a legal and social contract between a man and a woman. In the religion of Islam it is generally strongly recommended that adherents marry.

A nikāḥ marriage has a number of requirements and restrictions under shariah. Amongst them are that a gift known as a mahr be given by the groom to the bride; that the bride, groom and guardian for the bride (wali), give their legal consent to the marriage and that there be no coercion; that there be two witnesses from each side to the signing or accepting of the contract; that the bride and groom not be of the same gender, not be brother and sister, mother or father, aunt or uncle, or other close relatives, but may be first cousins; that the man not have more than four wives at any one time, and the woman more than one husband.

Requirements and restrictions on marriage

There are many hadith recommending marriage in general, but depending on the circumstances, a Muslim may be required, encouraged, discouraged or forbidden to marry according to holy law (sharia).

Should a Muslim get married

Many Muslim activists urge Muslims to marry. There are many hadith recommending marriage as long as a (Muslim) man can afford it, and some that encourage marriage even if he has trouble affording it.

• “When a man marries he has fulfilled half of the religion; so let him fear God regarding the remaining half.” (Mishkat al-Masabih 3096)
• “(Oh Muslims!) Marry, then, I will be proud of being the largest in number among nations, and do not follow the monastic life of Christians”, (Al-Bayhaqi on the authority of Abu Umamah).
• “Marry even with an iron ring.” (Al-Bukhari on the authority of Sahl Ibn Sa'd.)
• Ibn Masoud may Allaah be pleased with him said: “If I knew that I will die on the tenth day of the last ten days of my life and I can afford marriage, I will marry since I fear temptation.”
• Ibn 'Abbaas said to Sa'eed ibn Jubayr: “Marry, for the best people of the Muslim Ummah are those who have the largest number of wives”, (Al-Bukhari and Ahmad).
• Imam Ahmad said: “Celibacy is not part of Islam.”
• “The best people of my nation (Ummat) are those who get married and have chosen their wives, and the worst people of my nation are those who have kept away from marriage and are passing their lives as bachelors.”

Rulings

According to scholars such as Sheikh Sayyed Sabiq and Al-Qurtubi (1214–1273) and according to the consensus of scholars (according to Islamweb),

• a Muslim is obligated (fard) to marry if they are able to afford it, have a desire for sexual intercourse, and are afraid they might indulge in fornication;
• marriage is only recommended (mustahabb) for a Muslim if he does not fear committing something forbidden;
• marriage is prohibited (haram) for a man or woman if they suffer from madness, from leprosy, or similar afflictions; if the Muslim man lacks any sexual desire, or if his penis is cut, (since in such a case a marriage harms a wife and does not protect her chastity). Similarly the woman must not have defects such as "narrowness or blockage of her vagina, ... that hinders penile insertion", or similar problems.

Literalist Opinion

One school of fiqh -- that of literalist school founded by Dawud al-Zahiri (aka Dhaahiri fiqh) holds that marriage is "farḍ al-'ayn - an absolute and individual obligation" -- poverty notwithstanding. Among other sources, they cite as evidence this Qur'anic verse:

• "And marry off the single among you and among the righteous of your male and female slaves. If they are poor then Allah will supply their needs from His generosity. And Allah is expansive, knowing. And let those who do not find marriage hold back until Allah grants them of His generosity." (An-Noor 24:32-33)

Wali

According to some sources (such as IslamOnline), Islam stipulates that a Muslim woman should have a guardian or wali, (usually her father) conclude her marriage. (According to IslamOnline, requiring a guardian is part of the legislation of Islam that protects women from the "desires of the ill-hearted and evil opportunists" within the rights and independence that Islam grants her.) Another source, Cyril Glasse, states that the Maliki and Shafi'i schools of Islamic jurisprudence require that if the bride is a virgin, she be represented by a Wali at her wedding.

The role of the Wali in approving the marriage is particularly significant for women who have not previously been married. Permission from Wali:

• Sunni:
  • Compulsory (Maliki, Shafi'i, Hanbali)
  • Strongly recommended (Hanafi) According to Central Mosque website, "the relied upon position" within the Hanafi School is that if the bride is "a free, sane and adult" woman her marriage is still valid without the approval of her guardian (wali) if the husband is a “'legal' and suitable match (kuf’)" to her. Conversely, if the husband-to-be is not a legal match for her, then her marriage is not valid. However, "disobeying one’s parents is one of the most serious of sins in Islam". (Radd al-Muhtar ala ‘l-Durr al-Mukhtar 3/56-57 & I’la al-Sunan 11/69)
• Shia: Depending on the scholar, it is either obligatory or obligatory based on precaution.

One sahih hadith states (there are also similar hadith):

• “Any woman who marries without the permission of her wali, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid.”

Two sources (central-mosque.com and Hassan Al-Yousef), advises Muslim women who believe they their Wali is being unreasonably in preventing them from marrying the man they wish to marry to "refer the matter to Islamic Scholars or Islamic Shariah councils and let a Mufti or a Scholar from a Shariah council".

However, according to a fatwa by one Shaykh Ebrahim Desai interpreting Hanafi Fiqh, it is "not necessary" for a women to obtain permission from her Wali to marry or to be represented by a Wali at her Nikah. The Wali may object if the woman is marrying someone "outside of her scope of Kufu (compatibility)" but not forbid the marriage.

Separation of the sexes

Further information: Islam and gender segregation

At least among strict Muslims, unnecessary direct conversation between prospective bride and groom before the Nikah is forbidden, just as it would be between any other two non-mahram (a mahram is a family member with whom marriage would be considered permanently unlawful, i.e. haram) individuals. Negotiation and proposals of marriage should be done through parents or guardians. In addition kissing is prohibited before the Nikah -- nowithstanding its prominent place in non-Muslim marriages -- according to scholars such as Muhammad Al-Munajjid, Abu Ameenah Bilal Philips, and Abdurrahman ibn Yusuf Mangera. (Philips says it is not permissible in public even after the nikah, as Muslim couples are expected to exercise hayaa' (modesty/shyness) when in public; Mangera says that "expression of this type of interaction in public can lead to an unrestricted, carefree and immoral atmosphere which Islam forbids.")

Mahr

Main article: Mahr

Mahr is a mandatory gift given by the groom to the bride. Unlike a bride price, however, it is given directly to the bride and not to her father. Although the gift is often money, it can be anything agreed upon by bride and groom such as a house or viable business that is put in her name and can be run and owned entirely by her if she chooses. One basis for determining the amount of the mahr is how much her older sisters (if she has any) were given at the time of their marriage.

The practice is reportedly mentioned in the Quran.

• “And give the women [upon marriage] their [bridal] gifts graciously.” (Q.4:4)

Forbidding of misrepresentation

When the prospective husband misrepresents his suitability for marriage to his fiancée or her Wali -- for example in his lineage or physical status -- then the bride or her Wali have the right to nullify the nikah contract.

Forbidding of marriage to mahram

A verse in surah An-Nisa in the Quran gives a list of relatives that Muslims are forbidden to marry, (see below) -- a class of people known as Mahram (family members with whom marriage is permanently unlawful):

your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your paternal and maternal aunts, your brother's daughters, your sister's daughters, your foster-mothers, your foster-sisters, your mothers-in-law, your stepdaughters under your guardianship if you have consummated marriage with their mothers—but if you have not, then you can marry them—nor the wives of your own sons, nor two sisters together at the same time—except what was done previously. Surely Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Q.4:23)

See also: Cousin marriage in the Middle East

Not forbidden are cousins, including first cousins, who though genetically close are not mahram.

Others forbidden

Also forbidden to marry is anyone of the same sex, anyone who has had the same wetnurse feed them, and polytheists (mushrikun).

Interfaith marriage

Main article: Interfaith marriage in Islam

Islamic law "generally" forbids Muslim women from marrying non-Muslim men, but does allow Muslim men to marry Christian or Jewish women "under specific conditions".

The Qur'an explicitly allows Muslim men to marry chaste women of "the People of the Book", (i.e. Jews, Christians and Sabians),

• Do not marry polytheistic women until they believe; for a believing slave-woman is better than a free polytheist, even though she may look pleasant to you. And do not marry your women to polytheistic men until they believe, for a believing slave-man is better than a free polytheist, even though he may look pleasant to you. They invite ˹you˺ to the Fire while Allah invites ˹you˺ to Paradise and forgiveness by His grace. He makes His revelations clear to the people so perhaps they will be mindful. (Q.2:221)
• ...the food of the People of the Book is permissible for you and yours is permissible for them. And ˹permissible for you in marriage˺ are chaste believing women as well as chaste women of those given the Scripture before you...(Q.5:5)

... and historically, in Islamic culture and traditional Islamic law, interfaith marriages have generally been recognized between those two groups, and not the gender inverse.

However, in the 21st century marriages between Muslim women and non-Muslim men have become "more and more" frequent, meeting with "varying degrees" of acceptance. Some modern Islamic scholars have begun to reexamine and reinterpret this traditional Sharia interpretation. While these scholars use "established and approved methodologies" in order to claim new conclusions, they are still met with a considerable amount of opposition from the majority of Orthodox Islamic scholars and interpreters, including Hassan Al-Turabi, and are criticized for contravening the traditional Sunni understanding of ijma.

Polygyny

Main article: Polygyny in Islam

Muslim men are allowed to practise polygyny, that is, they can have more than one wife at the same time, up to four, per Sura 4 Verse 3.

According to Yusuf Al-Qaradawi, (in his work The Lawful and the Prohibited in Islam), to marry more than one wife a husband must have confidence that he will be able to deal equitably with multiple wives "in the matter of food, drink, housing, clothing and expenses, as well as in the division of his time between them".

The Hanbali and Shaafi’i schools of jurisprudence emphasize the part of the verse that states "... if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with multiple wives), then only one ...", and "recommend" that a Muslim male to have only one wife, to ensure complete equality among multiple wives Others, such as Saudi-educated preacher Bilal Philips and Jamila Jones, inveigh against banning or discouraging polygyny based on "restrictive impractical" Western norms, claiming that "institutional polygyny is vehemently opposed by male-dominated Western society because it would force men to fidelity".

Women are not allowed to have more than one husband. One of the main reasons for this would be the potential questioning of paternal lineage.

Permissible age

Islam encourages early marriage.

At least two sources (Islamweb, IslamQA) quote versions of the Sahih Hadith:

• The Prophet Muhammad said: "O, young people whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.)" (Imam Al-Bukhari and Muslim narrated from Ibn Mas'oud)

AbdurRahman.Org states that it is "permissible" for a father to give his daughter's hand in marriage "even when she is not fully grown up", quoting Sahih Muslim Book 8, Number 3309 A fatwa at the Salafi site Islam Question and Answer also states that "marriage to a young girl before she reaches puberty is permissible according to Shari`ah", giving quotations from various scholars and hadith collectors in support (At-Talaq 65:4, Tafsir At-Tabari, 14/142, Al-Istidhkar, 16/49-50, Narrated by Al-Bukhari, 4840 and Muslim, 1422). However, it adds that it is not permissible to have intercourse with her "until she becomes able for that". Dr. Hatem Al-Hajj, Dean of Shari`ah Academy of America (in answer to a questioner concerned about allegations of pedophilia in Islam), writes that all four Sunni madhahib (juristic schools of fiqh), indicate that the groom shall not be allowed to move in with a prepubescent bride "until she is physically capable of conjugal relations; something that should be left for the experts to determine."

Sahih Muslim permits marriage once a person reaches sexual maturity (i.e.: menstruation, voice changing, wet dreams) (baligh). Sexual maturity in Sharia law is typically understood to mean puberty.

If a girl has not attained the age of puberty, the vast majority of scholars hold that she cannot be married; and many stipulate that it must be in her best interest in order to be considered a valid marriage. There is some dispute as to whether or not an under-age bride can leave her family's custody and be transferred to her husband's custody, if she has not yet reached puberty. Some evidence supporting both sides can be seen in the following narrations from Muhammad:

• Narrated 'Aisha: that the Prophet married her when she was six years old and he consummated his marriage when she was nine years old. Hisham said: I have been informed that 'Aisha remained with the Prophet for nine years (i.e. till his death). (Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 65 )

• Narrated 'Ursa: The Prophet asked Abu Bakr for 'Aisha's hand in marriage. Abu Bakr said "But I am your brother." The Prophet said, "You are my brother in Allah's religion and His Book, but she (Aisha) is lawful for me to marry." (Sahih Bukhari 7.18)

However, some Islamic sources indicate that this was something allowed specifically for Muhammad, and not for other Muslims.

Possibly contradicting some fatwa above, Hatem Al-Hajj rules that Islam "doesn't impose" a specific minimum age for marriage and "leaves it for the legal authorities" of different countries and communities to decide.

Arranged and forced marriages

An engagement may be arranged between families for their children, but Islamic requirements for a legal marriage include the requirement that both parties, bride, groom , give their legal consent, as the Quran, hadith and scholar Ibn Taymiyyah state:

• “O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion…” (An-Nisa 4:19).
• Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet said: "A non-virgin woman may not be married without her command, and a virgin may not be married without her permission; and it is permission enough for her to remain silent (because of her natural shyness)." [Al-Bukhari:6455, Muslim & Others]
• A'ishah reported that she once asked the Prophet: "In the case of a young girl whose parents marry her off, should her permission be sought or not?" He replied: "Yes, she must give her permission." She then said: "But a virgin would be shy, O Messenger of Allaah!" He replied: "Her silence is [considered as] her permission." [Al-Bukhari, Muslim, & Others]

Ibn Taymiyyah stated that Muhammad "prohibited forcing a virgin in marriage without her permission, whether by her father or anyone else."

Fornicators

Islam does not give fornicatorous men the right to marry a chaste woman, nor may a fornicatorous woman marry a chaste man, except if the matter has not gone to court and the two purify themselves of this sin by sincere repentance.

• Women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity Quran 24:26

According to fatwa by a shaykh of the Hanafi school it is allowed to marry a repentant fornicator, but according to a Maliki fiqh school source, marrying a convicted fornicator is only discouraged (makruh), as "some have said" that the verse, “The fornicating woman is only to be married to a fornicator“ (Q.24:3), has been abrogated.

Nikah Halala

Main article: Nikah Halala

Nikah Halala also known as tahleel marriage, is a practice in which a woman, after being divorced by her husband by triple talaq (the verbal divorce of traditional Islam), marries another man, consummates the marriage, and gets divorced again in order to be able to remarry her former husband.

The rationale is that if the divorced couple wish to remarry, according to Islamic law they cannot unless the woman has been married to and divorced from another man in the mean time. However, this form of marriage is haram (forbidden) according to Islamic law based on hadith of Muhammad. Nikah halala is practiced by a small minority of Muslims, mainly in countries that recognise the triple talaq.

Western practices

Civil marriages in Western countries must meet "the basic conditions of Shari’ah" (such as the restrictions and requirements mentioned above) to be valid in Islam (according to a fatwa by Sheikh Faysal Mawlawi, the deceased Deputy Chairman of the European Council for Fatwa and Research).

Concerning practices originated from European tradition such as Wedding rings and bridal gowns, a fatwa by Islamweb discourages Muslims from wearing wedding or engagement rings as it constitutes "a form of imitation of non-Muslims". It also points to hadith forbidding men from wearing any gold ornaments including wedding or engagement rings. A fatwa by Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid also forbids gold on men but states rings are permissible unless they are "accompanied by the belief that this will create strong bonds between the couple". A fatwa per Hanafi Fiqh by Mufti Faizal Riza on IslamQA.org finds both wedding rings and white wedding dresses to be "peculiar ... customs of the kuffar", that are "not permissible" for Muslims.

Witnesses

In Sunni Islam two witnesses from both sides are necessary for the contract to be valid. According to Hanafi Fiqh by DarulUloomTT.net, there must be two male witnesses or one male and two females; they must be Muslims who have reached the age of puberty and are of sound mind. According to Hanafi school of fiqh of Mufti Ebrahim Desai of Askimam.org, the witnesses must be "two trustworthy and pious male Muslims" who are not the brides ascendants, (such as father, grandfather) or decendants (e.g. son, grandson, etc.).

In Shia Islam (aka Imamiyyah Islam), according to Muhammad Juwwad Mughniyyah, witnesses to a marriage are not wajib (required) but only mustahabb (recommended).

Nikah/Islamic marriage contract

Main article: Islamic marriage contract

A Muslim marriage is a simple, legal agreement in which either partner is free to include conditions, violation of which is legal grounds for the partner who included the stipulation to seek divorce. The first part of the "marriage ceremony" of the nikah is the signing of the marriage contract itself.

The marriage should have an offer or proposal (ijab) from the wali of the bride (or the person who is acting in his place), made to the groom saying in effect, “I marry [name of bride] to you”.

In a Shia nikah ceremony requires that the nikah kalma and some other verses of the Quran must be recited, whereas this is optional in a Sunni nikah ceremony, so Shia nikah ceremonies often lasts much longer than the Sunni. A Shia nikah ceremony requires the pair to conduct a ghusl bath, according to a specific method. Sunni do not require this at a nikah ceremony.

Walima

Main article: Walima

The Walima is a dinner given by the groom's side of the family to celebrate the welcoming of the bride to the family. It is a strong sunnah (the repetition of an action of Muhammad) and it is recommended to be held the earliest possible day after the Nikah. It is "disliked" (Makruh) to have the bride displayed during the Walima, such as on a stage. Thus it is preferred that the couple sit together in a corner. The Walima may include speeches, sermons, prayers, and poetry. Scholars permit, and even recommend, the playing of the Daf drum during the Walima whereas music is otherwise prohibited.

Types of marriage

Nikāḥ

A Muslim bride signing the nikkah nama or marriage certificate, 2006, Pakistan.

Main article: Marriage in Islam

The Nikāḥ (Arabic: نكاح, literally, "to collect and bind together") is the first—and most common—form of marriage for Muslims. It is described in the Qur'an in Surah 4:4.

Regulations:

• While intended to be a permanent state, it can be terminated (i.e. divorce may proceed) by the husband engaging in the Talaq process or the wife seeking a Khula.
• The couple inherit from each other.
• A legal contract is signed when entering the marriage. However the contract may be oral, not written, the standard practice amongst illiterate Muslims.
• If an agreed end-date is specified in the nikāḥ contract:
  • In Sunni jurisprudence, the contract is invalid.
  • In Shia jurisprudence, the contract defines a temporary marriage, nikāḥ mut'ah.

Nikāḥ Misyar

Main article: Nikah Misyar

Nikāḥ Misyaar is a nikāḥ for Sunnis carried out via the normal contractual procedure, but specifying that the husband and wife give up several rights by their own free will, such as living together, equal division of nights between wives in cases of polygamy, the wife's rights to housing, and maintenance money ("nafaqa"), and the husband's right of homekeeping, access, etc. The difference between this and Nikāḥ Mut‘ah is that mut'ah has the condition of a definite time period and a separation date prior to a marriage contract. Sunni Muslim men may in theory engage in a similar practice by marrying a woman with the intention of getting divorced after a period of time, but according to Shaykh Yūsuf Badāt of Hanafi Fiqh Mathabah.org, "the overwhelming number of Sunni jurists from all persuasions" consider such a marriage as "invalid and prohibited."

Nikāḥ ‘urfī

Main article: Nikah 'urfi

Nikāḥ ‘urfī is a "customary" marriage contract that commonly requires a Wali (Islamic legal guardian) and witnesses but does not have official registration with state authorities. Couples repeat the words, "We got married" and pledge commitment, although there are many other informal ways in which people marry 'urfi. Usually a paper, stating that the two are married, is written and at least two witnesses sign it, although others may record their commitment on a cassette tape and use other forms of documentation.

Nikāḥ Mut‘ah

Main article: Nikah Mut‘ah

Nikah mut'ah Arabic: نكاح المتعة, romanized: nikāḥ al-mutʿah, literally "pleasure marriage"; temporary marriage or sigheh (Persian: صیغه ، ازدواج موقت, called muta'a in Iraq and sigheh in Iran) is a private and verbal temporary marriage contract that is practiced in Twelver Shia Islam in which the duration of the marriage and the mahr must be specified and agreed upon in advance. It is a private contract made in a verbal or written format. A declaration of the intent to marry and an acceptance of the terms are required as in other forms of marriage in Islam.

According to Shia Muslims, Muhammad sanctioned nikah mut'ah. Some Sunni and Western writers have argued that mut'ah approximates prostitution in a culture where prostitution is otherwise forbidden.

Some sources say the Nikah mut'ah has no prescribed minimum or maximum duration, but others, such as The Oxford Dictionary of Islam, indicate the minimum duration of the marriage is debatable and durations of at least three days, three months or one year have been suggested.

Proxy marriages

Nikah is permitted by proxy (i.e. via the telephone or video link), simply by both parties (or representatives on their behalf) exchanging declarations. This has caused issues in Western countries, such as the United Kingdom, which do not view proxy marriages as legitimate.

Forbidden historical marriages

In addition to the types of marriages mentioned above that are forbidden in Islam -- marriage to close relatives (mahram) (Q.4:23), those made "foster relatives" by virtue of their having the same wet nurse, those of the same sex -- there are also kinds of marriages that were practiced historically (though perhaps not much of an issue today) that are forbidden either in the Quran (Levirate marriage) or hadith (Nikāḥ Ijtimaa).

Levirate marriage

Further information: Levirate marriage

In certain sections of the Jahiliyyah Arab tradition, the son could inherit his deceased father's other wives (i.e. not his own mother) as a wife. The Quran prohibited this practice. Marriage between people related in some way is subject to prohibitions based on three kinds of relationships.

O believers! It is not permissible for you to inherit women against their will or mistreat them to make them return some of the dowry ˹as a ransom for divorce˺—unless they are found guilty of adultery. Treat them fairly. If you happen to dislike them, you may hate something which Allah turns into a great blessing. 4:22 Do not marry the former wives of your fathers—except what was done previously. It was indeed a shameful, despicable, and evil practice.Surah An-Nisa 4:22

Nikāḥ Ijtimaa

Main article: Nikah Ijtimah

Nikah ijtimaa, or combined marriage, is a form of marriage practiced in pre-Islamic Arabia, in which multiple men would have intercourse with a woman, and if she bore a child, she would choose one of the men to be the father of the child. This form of marriage was outlawed by Islam, and traditional jurisprudence requires that any man and woman be married prior to sexual intercourse.

Nikāḥ Shighār

Nikāḥ Shighā is marriage (نکاح شغار) in which two men would exchange their daughters, sisters or other close women for marriage without paying mahr. It was prohibited by Muhammad.

Nikah Istibdaa

Nikah Istibdaa is a marriage ( نکاح استبضاع) in which a husband would send his wife to another person, usually of noble lineage, to have sexual relations with him. The husband would refrain from sexual relations with his wife until she became pregnant by the other man. Afterwards, the man would claim paternity of the conceived child. This was done to get a child of noble breed. It was eradicated by Islam.

Behavior within marriage

Spousal rights and obligations

Main article: Rights and obligations of spouses in Islam

Islam advocates a role-based relationship between husband and wife, where the husband has the main responsibility of earning and the wife of taking care of children. Fatwa and works on Islamic marriage often mention virtues such as "tranquillity, love and mercy". "Kindness and patience" "love, mercy, kindness and mutual respect", "love, mercy, understanding and aiming to please Allah", that are to be shown by each partner to the other. As a Sahih al-Bukhari hadith narrated by Abd Allah ibn Umar states:

The Prophet said, "All of you are guardians and are responsible for your wards. The ruler is a guardian and the man is a guardian of his family; the lady is a guardian and is responsible for her husband's house and his offspring; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your wards."

Gender roles

The Qur'an asserts that there are innate differences between women and men, and therefore Islam gives different rights and duties to husband and wife.

Some rights which the husband owes to his wife are:

• payment of dowry
• financial Support
• Kind and proper treatment
• Privacy
• equitable treatment if there is more than one wife
• Defense of her honor

Some rights which the wife owes to her husband are:

• Accept his being head of the household
• Obedience, unless his order is violates Islam
• To have marital relations with him when he wants
• Not to allow anyone in the house whom he disapproves of
• Not to leave the house without his permission
• To protect his property
• To show gratitude to him for his efforts
• To not undertake a fast without his permission.

Obedience to husbands

Obedience to husbands can be a controversial subject. For example Salafi preacher Bilal Philips laments the fact that in Western society, "obedience to one's husband is not even considered a positive characteristic worthy of development in a woman".

• In a fatwa Shazia Ahmad (of the Shafi'i school of fiqh) explains to a frustrated wife that "obedience to the husband regarding [Islamically] permissible actions is obligatory", even if the wife supports herself working full time.
• In another fatwa, Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (of the Hanbali school) gives as an explanation for why the wife must obey her husband that the husband "is more perfect in rational thinking than her in most cases ... just as women are more able than men to take care of the children and the household affairs. Also, men are obliged to spend on their wives; the wife does not have to work or earn a living".
• The Jordanian and Egyptian Dar-al-Ifta (Hanafi school) give slightly more qualified fatwas, stating the wife must obey, "in whatever preserves the stability of their new family and marital life." (Jordanian) or "according to what is equitable" (Egyptian).
• According to Dr. Salah Sultan, (President of the American Center for Islamic Research in Columbus, Ohio, a member of the European Council for Fatwa and Research, and a "senior member" of the international Muslim Brotherhood), “The man should be obeyed as long as there is no disobedience to Allah".
• Popular woman Muslim author Ruqayyah Waris Maqsood qualifies the necessity of obedience to husbands, saying that the man must "show the protection, the maintenance, and the strength" in order to receive a wife's "obedience and the co-operation".}

Physical discipline of wives/Darb

Concerning the husband's rights over his wife, Quranic verse 4:34 includes the section

...As for women of whom you fear rebellion, convince them, and leave them apart in beds, and discipline them. Then, if they obey you, do not seek a way against them. Surely, God is the Highest, the Greatest ....".

The word translated as "discipline them" -- aḍarb wahunna (ﺁضربوهن) -- has been translated as

• "discipline them ˹gently˺" (Dr. Mustafa Khattab, The Clear Quran),
• "scourge them" (Marmaduke Pickthall),
• "strike them" (quranwbw)

and in other ways.

The verse has been called "the so-called ‘Wife Beating Verse’", and a number of sources have stated that it does not really call for beating/striking/scourging wives. Shaykh Yusuf Badat in a fatwa writes

The Arabic word ‘ḍarb’ has many meanings. Refer to Arabic linguistic manuals and Fiqh terminology. It can certainly mean ‘beat’ but here the verse, in today’s context, the more appropriate translation would be ‘take measures of discipline and reconciliation’.

In analyzing the verse, The Muslim Vibe states that the stirking of the wife is actually "a non-violent, symbolic gesture". Sources that do not deny the verse calls for beating disobedient wives emphasize beatings must not be severe. Zakir Naik states the beating must not leave a mark on the wife, Bilal Philips states that any beating of a wife "must be light" (lashing is forbidden), and quotes a hadith forbidding men from hitting their wife "in her face".

Living with inlaws

The wife has the right to live in separate accommodation with her husband and children, if she does not want to share it with anyone like her in-law or relatives. This is the view of most of the Hanafi, Shaafa'i and Hanbali scholars of fiqh. She also has the right to refuse to live with her husband's father, mother and siblings.

Narrated Abdullah bin Umar: That he heard Allah's Apostle saying,

"Everyone of you is a guardian and is responsible for his charge; the ruler is a guardian and is responsible for his subjects; the man is a guardian in his family and responsible for his charges; a woman is a guardian of her husband's house and responsible for her charges; and the servant is a guardian of his master's property and is responsible for his charge." I definitely heard the above from the Prophet and think that the Prophet also said, "A man is a guardian of his father's property and responsible for his charges; so everyone of you is a guardian and responsible for his charges." [Sahih Bukhari]

This indicates that a wife is responsible for the house of her husband. Also that a man should be the guardian of his family, i.e., after his marriage he moves out of his father's house, and runs his own family affairs and is guardian of his family. In a joint family, typically the head is either the father of the husband, or mother of the husband. This also indicates that a husband should look after his parents' house, as "a man is a guardian of his father's property". So the wife should not object to her husband when he is looking after affairs of his parents.

Sexuality

Sexuality in Islam is largely described by the Qur'an, Islamic tradition, and religious leaders both past and present as being confined to marital relationships between men and women, and between slave owners and enslaved females. While most traditions discourage celibacy, all encourage strict chastity and modesty (see haya) with regards to any relationships across gender lines, holding forth that intimacy as perceived within Islam (encompassing a swath of life more broad than strictly sex) is to be reserved for marriage.

Abd Allah ibn Mas'ud narrated:

We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Apostle said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e., his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual desire."

— Volume 7, Book 62, Number 4:

While adulterous relationships are strictly forbidden, permissible sexual relationships within marriage are described in Islamic sources as great wells of love and closeness for the couple involved. Sexual relationship between married couples are even source of rewards from God as doing the opposite, i.e., satisfying sexual needs through illicit means, has punishment. Specific occasions (most notably daytime fasting (see sawm) and menstruation) are times forbidden for intercourse, though not for other ways of touching and being close to one another. Anal sex with one's wife is also strictly prohibited.

So long as it is within marriage, free of lewdness, fornication and adultery, Islam has sometimes been described as having an open and playful approach to sex.

Divorce

Main article: Divorce in Islam

Divorce is not forbidden in Islam, but the dissolution of the contract Talaq, is often described as the most disliked of permissible things in Islam and should be used as a last resort.

See also

• Marriage in Islam
• Beena – a form of marriage used in pre-Islamic Arabia
• Islamic views on slavery
• Marriage and wedding customs in Islam
• The Sermon for Necessities
• Women in Islam
• Salat al-Istikharah - A prayer for seeking decisions from Allah, also observed for decision making in choosing spouse in marriage

Sources and further reading

• Ali, Kecia (2010). Marriage and Slavery in Early Islam. Harvard University Press. ISBN 978-0-674-05059-4.
• Philips, Abu Ameenah Bilal; Jones, Jamila (2005) [1994]. Polygamy in Islam (PDF). International Islamic Publishing House.
• al-Sadlaan, Saalih ibn Ghaanim (1999). The Fiqh of Marriage in the Light of the Quran and Sunnah. Covering the Dower, Wedding Night, Wedding Feast, and Rights of the Husband and Wife (PDF). Zarabozo, Jamaal al-Din M (translator). Kalamullah.com. Retrieved 12 June 2025.
• Maqsood, Ruqaiyyah Waris (1995). The Muslim Marriage Guide (PDF). allIslamforall.org. Retrieved 16 June 2025.

External links

• Marriage in Islamic Law
• E-Book: Marriage – A Form of Ibada
• E-Book: Wedding Customs and Non-Islamic Traditions
• Rights of husband and wife, and issues with joint family system
• The Etiquettes of Muslim Marriage Archived 23 July 2008 at the Wayback Machine
• Islamic Philosophy of Marriage
• VIDEO: British Man and French Woman talk about Becoming Muslims and how they got married. Archived 25 November 2006 at the Wayback Machine
• VIDEO: A French Muslim Convert Talks about Hijab and Marriage Archived 25 November 2006 at the Wayback Machine
• crescentlife.com's "Fundamentals of a happy marriage", a Muslim view of marriage structured around "21 F's", words beginning in F such as Faith, Forgiving, Forget, Forbearance, and so on. Similar content exists in multiple other sources, credited to various authors or uncredited.
• Why Muslim Singles Cannot Get Married
• The Wali in Islam:1,2,3,4,5
• Islam Marriages and Qur’an Teachings Archived 25 February 2010 at the Wayback Machine
• QuranicPath | Marriage of Believers