Sugar dating

Several terms redirect here. For other uses, see Sugar Baby, Sugar Daddy, and Sugar Mama.

Sugar dating or sugaring is an interpersonal relationship where one person receives money or gifts in exchange for intimacy or companionship. The provider (called a sugar daddy or sugar mommy) is typically older and wealthier, while the recipient (called a sugar baby) is typically younger, attractive, and interested in improving their quality of life. The recipient obtains gifts such as jewelry, luxury goods, leisure outings, vacations, fine dining, financial support, or mentorship, and offers social benefits such as companionship, devotion, affection, dating or intimacy.

Sugar dating is especially popular in the online dating community due to the easy access to specific niches and desires.

History and etymology

Transactional companionship and transactional sex between wealthy and often older men and younger attractive women (or in some cases, young men) has existed throughout history and across many cultures. Various forms of courtesanship, both informal and institutionalized, have existed since antiquity. In France during the Belle Époque era (1871–1914), there was a well-known demimonde of wealthy men and demi-mondaines, attractive women who provided entertainment and companionship. At the end of the 19th century in the United States, a similar phenomenon known as treating arose. In the early 20th century, women who would use their sexual attractiveness to win over wealthy men came to be known as "vamps" and "gold diggers". In Japan and other East Asian countries, the phenomenon of enjo kōsai, which bears a strong resemblance to western "sugaring", has become well-known since the 1990s.

Dorothy "Dot" King (1894-1923).

According to etymologist Michael Quinion, the likely earliest appearance of the term "sugar daddy" in print was in the publicity surrounding the social scandals springing from the unsolved killing of Dot King in 1923. King was a flapper in her late 20s, who had a number of associates and lovers in the New York City demimonde of that era, including wealthy men who patronized her and took care of her expenses, maintaining a well-off lifestyle. Her major benefactor was a Philadelphia financier, John Kearsley Mitchell III, who King referred to in love letters as her "heavy sugar daddy". Mitchell was not a suspect in the killing, but his relationship with King was publicized during the investigation and the transactional relationship between King and Mitchell became subject of much tabloid fodder and personal scandal for Mitchell.

"The Dictionary of Broadway", from a 1923 newspaper, explaining the "weird" vocubulary of the Broadway demimonde, including terms like "heavy sugar baby" that were new to mainstream American culture of the time.

Publicity from the scandal introduced the general public to the world of "heavy sugar babies" and "heavy sugar daddies", terms derived from the use of "sugar" as slang for money and "heavy sugar" for large amounts of wealth. The "heavy" part of the terms were soon dropped, and "sugar daddy" and "sugar baby" became part of the English lexicon. The popularization of "sugar baby" came not long after that of the similar term "gold digger", which began in the late 1910s.

As was the case with "gold digger", "sugar daddy" became ensconced in popular culture beginning in the 1920s, often in less-risque and light-hearted contexts. A Laurel and Hardy short titled Sugar Daddies was produced in 1927. Sugar Daddy and Sugar Babies brands of candy were introduced in 1932 and 1935, respectively.

The term "sugar daddy" is often reported to have an earlier origin, and is said to have originated as a pet name for Adolph B. Spreckels, heir to the Spreckels Sugar fortune, given to him by his much younger lover Alma de Bretteville, whom Spreckels married in 1908. Michael Quinion considers this version of the story doubtful, noting that no contemporary sources link the term to Adolph and Alma Spreckels, and that seemingly the earliest source for this story dates from about 2009. Mention of any such connection is also notably absent from the 1990 biography of Alma de Bretteville Spreckels.

During the 20th century, women who were interested in seeking out wealthy men for financially beneficial relationships would seek entry into social networks frequented by unattached affluent men or seek them directly using personal ads. Similarly, affluent men might seek out partners from those in appearance-based professions such as modeling or adult entertainment, with the often unspoken assumption that the relationship will be transactional in nature.

The 2000s saw the rise of "sugaring" websites, a subset of dating sites that were expressly oriented toward sugar daddies (and occasionally mamas) and sugar babies seeking to connect. Among the earliest was Sugardaddie.com, which started in 2002. SeekingArrangement.com began in 2007 and is perhaps the best-known such site, but there are many competing sites. The growth of sugaring websites led to the rapid growth and increased visiblity of the phenomenon of "sugar dating" by the late 2000s, and turned the networking aspect of sugar relationships into a largely online phenomenon.

Prevalence

With the rising costs in tuition, cuts to scholarships and bursaries, and the increasing pressures of student debt, sugar dating has become prevalent among students. Research suggests that there is a growing phenomenon of female university students working in the sex industry to pay for their post-secondary education. Due to the nature and stigmatization of sex work in the marginalized and hidden population, there is limited information on the number of students participating in these types of relationships. Those that decide to participate in sugar dating often use various websites to come in contact with these people. Membership on one site in 2016 was US$70 per month for sugar daddies or mommies, but free for sugar babies.

Attitudes towards sugar relationships are shaped by economic conditions, societal norms, psychological traits, and cultural values. Research has found openness to these arrangements is related to traditional gender roles, sociosexual orientation, parasite-stress theory, economic inequality, individualism, and personality traits like the Dark Triad.

Legality and comparison to sex work

There is debate about whether this practice can be considered sex work and whether there's a clear line between sugaring and sex work. Some forms of full-service sex work, such as the girlfriend experience, trade on emotional intimacy and companionship as much as they do the direct purchase of sexual services. Many forms of historical courtesanship have existed in a grey area between transactional companionship and outright prostitution.

The CEO of SeekingArrangement has stated that "escorts and their clients are never welcome on our sites". In Malaysia, sugar dating is illegal, to the point where the CEO of Malaysian sugar dating company Sugarbook was arrested and their website blocked by Malaysian Internet service providers.

See also

• Age disparity in sexual relationships
• Client (prostitution)
• Host and hostess clubs
• Mistress (lover)
• Trophy wife