User:Des Elmes

My full name is Desmond Francis Elmes, and my pronouns are he, him and his. I was born in Perivale, London, UK on 2 February 1988, and I have been living in Ireland since October 2001.

I am not ashamed to admit that I have both Asperger's syndrome and OCD. And I'm willing to admit, too, that I have anger management issues.

I first edited Wikipedia in May 2009, under the username Bluebird207. And looking back now, I reckon I was a bad fit for the project right from the off: I did not provide summaries for my edits at first and only started doing so after I was reminded, and it did not take long for me to start my first edit war – on the Opel Omega article – and as a result receive my first warning.

Sixteen years and countless misdeeds later – some of these misdeeds very terrible indeed – I have realised, once and for all, just how bad a fit I am for Wikipedia. And indeed, I have realised too just how bad Wikipedia is for me.

I have also realised that I kept on editing Wikipedia because I was addicted to it. As is normal with addictions, I made attempts to stop, but quickly started again each time. And I now know that each time I started again, I only set myself up to commit more misdeeds, and create more trouble for myself and other users.

Well, now that it has really hit home just how bad a combination Wikipedia and I are, I know that I have to stop editing it in any way, good or bad, at an account or at an IP address – and I must stop for good this time. I know that I must never be addicted to Wikipedia again, and that I must resist all urges to edit it. And I know that otherwise, I'll just go on committing misdeeds and creating trouble.

So I have made a full-blown vow never to edit Wikipedia again.

But before I put this vow into practice, I feel that I owe apologies to those users who I have annoyed, upset and indeed discouraged over the years with my misdeeds. It does not matter whether or not these users are still active (I know that some of them are not, and I know too that in some of these cases that is my fault, because I put them off and/or got them blocked), and nor does it matter if those users who are still active choose to reject these apologies, whether explicitly (by saying so) or implicitly (by ignoring them). All that matters to me is the making of these apologies.

And that is why I have created this particular account – which I fully intend to be the last Wikipedia account I ever create, and the only one under my real name. (As one might gather, I also fully intend never to find another IP address – V4 or V6, VPN or no VPN – from which to edit Wikipedia without an account.)

Once I have made these apologies, that really will be it – or at least, that is the intention. Certainly, I will log out of this account, and never log back into it again.

And may I stress now that I do have respect for the project. I am well aware that I have unleashed anti-Wikipedia tirades in the past – but these have been when I have allowed myself to be completely consumed by anger, and unable to think clearly. Not that I am using my anger, or my issues managing it, as excuses – or, for that matter, my Asperger's or my OCD. But I do have respect for Wikipedia, I do agree that it is a very good idea – and I would be disappointed if, for whatever reason, it went belly-up or ceased to be a free encyclopedia.

Desmond Francis "Des" Elmes