User talk:Yzhang7/sandbox
Overall, I think the article is really thoughtful and well written. The first section of "Youth Participation" is very detailed and structured well. One thing I noticed in the third paragraph was the reference to "Online Civic Responsibility, Engagement, Learning, and Expression"; it seems a little unclear as to why some words were capitalized. If this is a reference to a program or company it could be useful to make that more evident, but otherwise they should not be capitalized. The "Technology" Section was also very detailed and the information is presented in a very encyclopedic way. In the first paragraph, I think you could expand a little on the differences of Information and Communications Technology within developing and developed countries-- the transition to talking about the disparity of the Internet between white and Asian households seems a little blunt and unclear. Another improvement could also be to expand more about whether these households are in the US, other developed countries, or developing countries. As a whole though, the article is very well-structured and detailed. Cadencehsu (talk) 03:33, 11 October 2021 (UTC)Cadencehsu
Hi Yzhang7!
This was an enjoyable read! Your article is well-written and comprehensive, and you definitely tend to stay neutral for the most part. Your research is thoughtful, (globally) expansive, and an excellent summation of the subject. In your sentence: "Surveys show that white and Asian households are 1.5 to 2 times as likely to use the Internet as Hispanic and black households," I'm curious as to where those households reside. Are they Asian/white/Hispanic/black households in the United States, or in other parts of the world? Additionally, elaborating on why that may be the case could be helpful to your article. Additionally, in your last paragraph, I noticed that you seemed to be writing from the perspective of someone who is in favor of technology in relation to public-government relations as opposed to explaining the perspective from a non-partisan angle. I realize that that is a fine line and a difficult one at that, but I think replacing pieces like "it is an effective way" to "it is a means/method of" might be helpful. Overall, fantastic job!