Self-hatred

Self-hatred is a state of personal self-loathing or low self-esteem.

In psychology and psychiatry

The term "self-hatred" is used infrequently by psychologists and psychiatrists, who would usually describe people who hate themselves as "people with low self-esteem". Self-hate or self-loathing is characterized by persistent negative thoughts or feelings directed toward oneself, often involving intense self-criticism and self-judgment. It can typically manifest as a recurring internal dialogue that emphasizes one's personal flaws, mistakes, and perceived shortcomings. Individuals experiencing self-hate may have a heightened focus on negative aspects of themselves and their experiences, while minimizing or disregarding positive attributes or achievements. These thought patterns can affect an individual's overall worldview and emotional well-being. In some cases, individuals may not be consciously aware of the extent or impact of these cognitive patterns.

Self-hatred, self-guilt and shame are important factors in some or many mental disorders, especially disorders that involve a perceived defect of oneself (e.g. body dysmorphic disorder). Self-hatred is also a symptom of many personality disorders, including borderline personality disorder, as well as mood disorders like depression. It can also be linked to guilt for someone's own actions that they view as wrongful, e.g., survivor guilt.

What Self-Hate Can Look Like

Self-hate can look different from person to person, but there are several common patterns and traits that often appear. These may include:

• Difficulty showing oneself kindness or understanding
• Harsh and persistent self-criticism
• Struggles with self-trust or self-respect
• Frequent feelings of tension or emotional overwhelm

People experiencing self-hate often have persistent negative thoughts that can feel overpowering. Some examples of such critical thoughts might include:

• “I’m going to fail at this.”
• “I hate how I look.”
• “I’m not worthy of this opportunity.”

These thoughts tend to occur repetitively in a person's mind, with the negative thinking leading to emotional distress, which then leads to even more negative thoughts, that ends up creating a continuous cycle that can be difficult to break.

*Information from this section adapted/paraphrased from Cleveland Clinic webpage.

Causes

Self-loathing is often associated with early life experiences, particularly adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), which may continue to influence individuals into adulthood. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), ACEs can include childhood trauma, exposure to domestic violence, various forms of abuse (emotional, physical, or sexual), dysfunctional family environments, and low self-esteem; and research indicates that children who experience such adversity are more likely to engage in self-harming behaviors compared to those without such experiences.

A 2022 study reported similar findings, noting that individuals who experienced emotional abuse or maltreatment during childhood often expressed feelings of self-hatred and engaged in deliberate self-harm. Similarly in another study published in 2022, researchers found that children who experienced insecure attachment relationships in early childhood were more likely to develop maladaptive perfectionism as a coping mechanism to gain a sense of self-worth; and this pattern often led to a recurring cycle involving overly high expectations, self-defeating behavior, feelings of self-loathing, and shame.

Mental Health America (MHA) identifies additional factors that may contribute to self-loathing, including frequent self-comparison with others, setting unrealistic expectations, excessive self-criticism, difficulty moving on from past mistakes, social isolation, and habitual negative thinking patterns.

Sign and Symptoms

Though self-hate, or self-loathing, is not recognized as condition in and of itself, it can manifest itself in different forms and through different symptoms. Usually, it involves the lack of self-trust, self-compassion, along with judging oneself critically. Behaviors or belief patterns commonly manifested by people who experience self-hate, include (but are not limited to) these symptoms:

• Persistent feelings of inadequacy or low self-worth
• Struggles with body image or disordered eating habits
• Experiencing high levels of stress or frequent overwhelm
• Neglecting personal well-being or engaging in poor self-care over time
• Involvement in unhealthy or harmful relationships
• Displaying patterns of codependency
• Relying on substances such as drugs or alcohol

* information adapted from Medical News Today

Impact of Self-Hate on Individuals

Self-loathing can significantly influence an individual’s thoughts, behaviors, and interpersonal relationships. Not only can it shape how people view themselves and how people make decision, it can also influence peoples' interactions and relationships with others.

Personal Impact

People who experience self-hate often report low self-esteem and self-worth. This may arise from a persistent internal dialogue that is overly critical and demanding of themselves. This type of internalized, negative self-concept and criticism can contribute to emotional distress and increase vulnerability to mental health conditions.

For example, research published in 2019 indicated a link between feelings of self-disgust, loneliness, and symptoms of depression. Additionally, a 2022 study identified self-hatred as a contributing factor in suicide attempts especially among males.

Interpersonal Relationships

Self-loathing may also impact and interfere with one's ability to form and maintain meaningful social connections. Individuals may isolate themselves to avoid perceived rejection or judgment. A 2018 study found that self-directed negativity can lead to greater social withdrawal, reduced emotional expression, and a reluctance to engage with others.

Romantic relationships may be especially impacted. Though the person might desire a connection, the person's own fear of vulnerability, lack of self-worth, or perceiving oneself as "flawed" can create emotional barriers that makes it difficult to develop or maintain a sense of intimacy with others.

Impact on Ambitions and Future

Persistent self-hate and criticism and a lack of self-trust may undermine a person's ability to set and pursue goals. People who struggle with self-hate may constantly compare themselves unfavorably to others and doubt their own capabilities, believing that they are not good enough, and causes them to sell themselves short. This type of mindset can lead to avoidance of new challenges or opportunities, limiting their ambitions and possible opportunities.

Thus, self-loathing may limit one's personal and professional growth, hinder self-advocacy, and effectively prevent people from reaching their full potential.

Ways to Treat or Remediate Self-Hate

Self-Help Strategies

These are some practical strategies that can help reduce self-hate and build healthier thought habits:

• Practice Mindful Awareness: Try to observe your thoughts from a neutral perspective. Mindfulness exercises can help you become more aware of recurring self-critical thoughts and respond to them with greater clarity rather than judgment.
• Adjust Self-Talk: Notice how you speak to yourself. If your inner dialogue is harsh or overly negative, try replacing it with the kind of support and understanding you would offer a close friend in a similar situation.
• Set Realistic Goals: Self-hate is often tied to unrealistic expectations and comparisons. By setting small, achievable goals, you can build confidence and reduce feelings of inadequacy.
• Accept Imperfection: It’s important to recognize that perfection is neither realistic nor necessary. Experiencing difficult emotions or making mistakes is part of being human. Learning to accept yourself during these moments can reduce the intensity of self-critical thoughts.
• Acknowledge Your Efforts: Make a habit of recognizing your accomplishments, no matter how small. Practice praising yourself for everyday tasks, like completing schoolwork or handling daily responsibilities, which can gradually help shift your mindset toward a more positive and encouraging outlook.

Professional Support

Although people can take steps to manage self-hate on their own, working with a mental health professional can be even more effective. Therapy offers structured support and access to evidence-based techniques that help individuals identify, understand, and change self-critical thought patterns.

For example, there are many different therapeutic approaches available, and choosing the right one will likely depend on an individual's personal needs and preferences, but some examples include:

• Mindfulness-Based Therapy: This approach encourages individuals to observe their thoughts and emotions without judgment. Through practices such as meditation and guided reflection, clients learn to become more aware of negative self-talk and gradually reduce its impact.
• Traditional Talk Therapy: Approaches such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) often focus on reshaping harmful beliefs and promoting self-compassion. These methods help individuals recognize the difference between constructive self-reflection and excessive self-criticism, while fostering more balanced and supportive self-perceptions.

*Information from this section adapted from Web MD.

In social groups

Self-hatred by members of ethnic groups, gender groups, and religions is postulated to be a result of internalization of hatred of those groups from dominant cultures.

Ethnic groups

Main article: Internalized racism

Women

Main article: Internalized sexism

Jews

Main article: Self-hating Jew

Theodor Lessing, in his book, Jewish Self-Hatred (1930), identified this as a pathology, “a manifestation of an over identification with the dominant culture and internalization of its prejudices.” There have been studies from sources stated in the scholarly research, “mental illness in Jews often derived from feelings of inferiority and self-hatred resulting from persecution and their subordinate position in society.”

The term has been used to label American Jews accused of hiding their identity “by converting or intermarrying and raising their children in another faith” to overcome sociopolitical barriers due to antisemitism in the United States.

LGBTQ+ individuals

Main article: Internalized homophobia

Internalized homophobia refers to negative stereotypes, beliefs, stigma, and prejudice about homosexuality and LGBTQ people that a person with same-sex attraction turns inward on themselves, whether or not they identify as LGBTQ.

Related concepts

Self-deprecation

Main article: Self-deprecation

Self-deprecation is the act of belittling, undervaluing, or disparaging oneself, or being excessively modest. It is often used as a form of humor and tension release, but it also simultaneously normalizes self-hatred.

Self-harm

Main article: Self-harm

See also: Mortification of the flesh and Self-flagellation

Self-harm is a psychological phenomenon in which subjects feel compelled to physically injure themselves (for example, the cutting, burning or hitting of oneself) as an outlet for self-hatred, anxiety, or anger, and is related to numerous psychological disorders.

In some cases, self-harm can lead to accidental death or suicide due to its self-destructive nature. However, it is not a definitive indicator of either the desire to attempt suicide or even suicidal ideation. For this reason, self-harm is sometimes also called non-suicidal self-injury (NSSI).

See also

• Anti-Germans (political current) – Theoretical and political tendencies within the radical left mainly in Germany and Austria
• Anti-Japaneseism – Theory from the New Left of Japan
• Mongrel complex – Inferiority complex among Brazilians regarding their nation
• Internalized oppression – Concept in social justice theory
• Sadomasochism – Sexual practice
• White guilt – Guilt felt by some white people for harm resulting from racist treatment of ethnic minorities

Further reading

• Sander L. Gilman Difference and Pathology: Stereotypes of Sexuality, Race and Madness Cornell University Press, 1985. ISBN 978-0-8014-1785-6